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Sewing Blogs [Dec. 3rd, 2010|10:11 am]
You know what I really hate when surfing the web for some good sewing blogs? I hate those "mommy" blogs that have patterns, tutorials, and entries entirely surrounding making things for their kids. I find it to be a totally narcissistic, self-indulgent way for "mommies" to gain validation by showing off their children. Except it is somehow supposed to be acceptable because there is a "purpose". UGH! So. Annoying. I don't want to indulge in your obsession with being a mommy, or look at your kids, or look at the stupid trousers you made for them.
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boy oh boy! [Sep. 28th, 2009|08:07 pm]
So I made chocolate chip peanut butter cookies and let me tell you, they are delicious.
School is overwhelming this semester; I can barely keep up. But this week seems like it will be more manageable so that's good. Someone told my parents I am depressed so of course they called me to check in as if I wouldn't know what they were doing. I'll be fine.

Only one 1 and 1/2 more weeks until SAN FRAN! and Curt! And Karen! And Fever Ray!!! I am so excited. I need the vacation, especially since the week before I will be working double time so I can miss the school.
Ok so I left my shampoo and conditioner in Phoenix so I am using my backup which is Burt's Bees shampoo bar. Yes, bar. As in, like the soap. Except it's shampoo. Basically my hair looks like it belongs to a homeless person. Jeeze.
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Busy Day [Jul. 12th, 2009|10:29 pm]
So I spent the day cleaning since I haven't lifted a finger in over a month at my house, when I had a sudden realization as I was walking down stairs. I had left my room, with sliding glass door open, passed the window on the staircase which I had opened this morning, when I finally noticed that the front door, back door, and both windows downstairs were also open. It was at this moment that it dawned on me: "holy shit, I'm turning in to my mother!!!"

If you had ever been to my house when I lived there, you'll know what I mean.
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Work Troubles [Jul. 2nd, 2009|07:46 pm]
When I got my job last year, I couldn't have been more excited. Everyone was so nice, so open, and I was impressed at how equally treated I felt. When I made mistakes or was corrected for doing things wrong, I assumed it was because I was new and didn't know everything, and that I would learn and get better.

Now I'm starting to realize there is a lot more politics in the job than I thought. It is no secret that I am usually completely oblivious to nuances in social situations, I don't pick up on innuendo, and it takes me a while to catch on to under-the-surface issues that sometimes manifest themselves in group situations. It's just the way I am--I don't get involved in drama, I am nice to everyone, and I just want to do a good job. Because of my disadvantage socially, I feel vulnerable in the group settings as if I am walking in to a potentially "dangerous" or toxic situation. It is not a good feeling, particularly when I have to be with the same group without a break for many days on end.

In some groups, depending on the leader, I am noticing a lot of gender favoritism. I don't think that it is intentional or that the crew leaders are bad people or being malicious. But it gets really frustrating and discouraging because I feel like I have to work twice as hard as any male to get even half the amount of respect. I don't feel victimized or uncomfortable, I just feel like on some crews the women are corrected more often for doing things "wrong", are treated like they are basically stupid when they do make mistakes, or like they weigh the group down because of their lack of understanding.

Maybe not every girl feels like this at my job, but I know some do. I hate sensing the annoyance of crew leaders or team members when I ask a question or if I don't do something their way. Many guys at my work are not scrutinized half as much--in my opinion, because of their ability to make friends with the (mostly--if not entirely--male) crew leaders. I may not have the guys' sense of humor, crack the right jokes, or get to know my leaders on a personal level, but I get up on time in the morning, I don't complain and I volunteer to do tasks. I don't slack off and pay attention to what is going on. I carry my weight and do my best to learn and do a good job.

It makes me really dread going to work because suddenly I feel like I'm the little sister, that everyone teases when she says something dorky and who everyone criticizes when she can't get something right the first time. You know, I may not be as smart as some people, or as strong or as fast but I keep up and I get everything done that I am expected to accomplish. I eventually get it right and I do it in a reasonable time. I'm not exactly sure how to deal with this situation because I don't want to bring my own personal hurt feelings into it. But I do notice that the undergraduate men enjoy the luxury of being buddies with the crew leaders, slacking off and making mistakes without a word of criticism from anyone, and I often see girls on these crews working harder and getting teased and criticized much more often.

In my years as a younger sibling, I've learned to take a joke. Even when it's at my expense. I can laugh at the stupid things I do and say and still feel good about myself at the end of the day. What I can't take is being treated like a little sister when I'm at work. It is demoralizing and extremely disheartening, and makes me feel bad about myself. Ugh.
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On Food and Rap Songs [Apr. 30th, 2009|12:12 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |School library]
[mood |crankycranky]
[music |Pinback's Self-titled album]

With the end of the semester so close (and yet so far!!!) and the summer drawing near, I've decided to at last make a real and lasting commitment to my health and diet. I've been receiving Chet Day's "Health and Body Weekly" for like a year now, but living in the dorms with no kitchen and having a 3-meal a day plan with the University cafeteria for over a year, the circumstances haven't been right. But now that I've finally escaped dorm life and my meal plan ending in ONE week, I think it's time to start planning how I'll make this year a successful one in the kitchen.

I think I've discovered the secret to making the most of my veggie money by making snacks and side dishes right away and munching on them throughout the week. Crockpot meals are also on my agenda as an easy way to eat a totally vegan meal with lots of tasty veggies. And guess what! I have a crockpot at my house!

Chelsea and I also snagged a FREE juicer for the house, so we'll see how that can pay off since buying fruit is often really expensive. However,I'm hoping we can get some good deals at the Farmer's Market during the summer when so many delicious fruits are in season. Is there any way to juice spinach?....Hm....

Fortunately I'll be going out of town for work a whole lot so I won't have to spend too much on groceries, but I already have some great recipes for homemade granola bars and other tasty field snacks when I am working in-town. My goal is to eat raw as much as possible and eat totally vegan a couple days a week. This is a lofty dream and I may have to amend my expectations, but we'll see how it goes! thanks to Chet Day I have lots of really great low-fat dressings that use few ingredients to spice up my raw snacks.

Oh my god and if you are ever craving comfort food but you thought you couldn't eat them any more because you are a vegetarian, think again! <a href="http://www.myvegancookbook.com/blog/">My Vegan Cookbook</a> has it all! In addition to vegan-version comfort foods, he also has great snack and condiment recipes like vegan mayo and tasty sandwich spreads. I have a few of his recipes prepared for my weekly arsenal. Unfortunately a lot of his recipes require tons of ingredients, so I'll probably have to break them out only on special occasions. Also, there is sometimes just no substitute for butter.

Anyways, I'm pumped to lose the 10+ pounds I've gained since coming to NAU and eating fried and fat-rich foods. I also want to renew my commitment to vegetariansim unless the farmer's market offers great free-range and locally raised meat. This could be a tough one as chicken is my weakness.

In other news, I am preparing my final presentation for my Foods class with my group. They thought it would be awesome to do a rap song as the intro to our talk. Yes, folks, a RAP. I'm...pretty sure the last time I had to do something like this was in 7th grade. But for some reason everyone thinks it's super awesome and funny so I'm forced into it. I am so nervous because I don't want to do it!!!!!
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(no subject) [Mar. 31st, 2009|07:11 pm]
So last night my little kitty didn't come inside before dark. She wasn't coming to my calls, which is very unusual. I had to leave the house to go eat dinner but was forced to come back because I couldn't leave her outside alone. As soon as I got back, I heard her meowing from somewhere, but it was mostly dark. I discovered her in the neighbor's tree, like 40 feet off the ground. My ladder wasn't tall enough to even remotely reach the lowest branch, so I called the fire department. They basically just stood at the bottom of the tree with me for about 45 minutes. They said they didn't have a ladder tall enough to reach her--what??? So if my house was on fire they woudn't have a ladder tall enough to reach the upstair window? What kind of shoddy fire department is this anyways?

I had to stay the night in the studio in hopes that Beatrix would get desperate enough and jump or climb down. I kept checking on her throughout the night and I started getting really worried when the frost started forming on my car and Beatrix sounded weaker and weaker. I was convinced she would freeze to death, but of course she didn't. I woke up the next morning and there she was, sleeping in a tree branch. I insisted the fire department come back with a suitable ladder, and they finally did. The guy climbed up and he was very nice and gentle with Beatrix, making sure not to scare her away. Let me just say that it was one of the most dramatic ordeals, even though it doesn't sound that way. I can totally envision myself as the crazy cat lady, especially since I called the fire department later on that night after they left, and FIRST thing in the morning. They must think I'm nuts!

But Beatrix is now safe and sound and acting like normal.
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Day One Million [Mar. 29th, 2009|07:20 pm]
[Current Location |Dorm room]
[music |Beck- Sea Change]

So here I am, constantly waiting for the hours to go by till the day ends and I can put an "X" on one more day that Clint is gone. We are halfway through the tour, basically. I am eating mostly apples now (at least during the day) and am thinking maybe I might start using the elliptical machine that's in my dorm room. I'm thinking about it. Maybe. We'll see.

I feel bad for leaving the kitties alone so much but I just can't stay at the studio at night anymore. Maybe I should take them into the house and sleep in the main house? I think I may do that tomorrow night. Still, it's scary!!!

I hate to say it, but I get pretty lonely without Clint. Only another million days left!

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Boredom Kills [Mar. 27th, 2009|12:42 am]
So I'm like a million years into Clint's tour. I seriously don't even know how many days it's been. I haven't been keeping close track because it's basically like Chinese torture. We still have 18-20 days left. I'm not sure exactly. Forever, lets just say that.

So in the mean time I listen to happy songs about cats and such. It's kind of the most awesome thing ever, what I do. I have such an action-packed life. Seriously.

Oh. Totally saw the ghost of the guy that used to live in Clint's house. Yeah. He shot himself in the woods behind the house. Awesome, eh? I was alone, and he was there. I know it. Don't hold me down with your science!
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(no subject) [Mar. 19th, 2009|01:05 am]
One of the biggest lessons I've had to learn in life (and am still learning) is that you can't look to other people to legitimize your happiness. It's a personal habit of mine to look to others for approval with what I'm doing before I can truly allow myself to feel confident in my decisions or actions. And you know what? It ultimately makes me a miserable person. I wish I could make everyone happy or that I could do what other people would approve of in order to BE happy. But I just can't, not all the time. All the inconvenience, pain, and heartache that may be endured going against what other people would want or approve of might be an unpleasant struggle, but I would so much rather fight for what makes me complete than live my life unfulfilled because it's what other people want.

I've definitely had to choose my battles in this arena. Sometimes I do things I wouldn't normally do because it makes my parents happy--I also abstain from doing things that would make them UNhappy. But I've really had to define for myself where to draw that fine line. Not everything is worth fighting for. I just grew tired of wanting to live up to other peoples' standards, or trying to be "normal". I'm the weird girl, okay, I get it. I always have been and there's not a whole lot I can do to change that. I enjoy conversing about things that most people don't care about or would much rather not think about. I don't fit in with any particular group, and I know that bothers people. I don't sit around and bitch to people about what an asshole my boyfriend is, because you know what? My boyfriend's not an asshole. Sometimes I think people would much rather I just join the club so I don't stand out and make them uncomfortable or something. And it sucks, because that severely narrows the list of people in this world who really 'get me'.

But you know, there just has to be a point where I can't accept the things that people want or expect me to be. I can't take that on. Sure, I'm young and I'm still figuring myself out and I don't totally know who I am. I am under no illusions about that. But at least I have the courage to try and be true to myself, and I wish that it paid off more. My family usually has an opinion about what they would do if they were me--go to parties all the time, move back home, go to a different school, study a different subject, not be in a relationship....I wish I could be satisfied doing the things everyone else would do. But you know, we all want different things in life. Things that make me happy might not make other people happy, and I don't appreciate the cirticism I get when my life goals seem too threatening for one reason or another. Focus on your own life, because God knows we're all a little fucked up.

So today's positive thought is going to be about making my own path in life, and going against what other people would expect or want from me. I would be an empty, heartbroken person if that's all I did. In the end, even if I go against other people's expectations, the people who truly love me would come out having more respect for me as a person. And those that don't are clearly not worth my respect, either. So just focus on what makes you happy, love yourself, and do whatever it is that makes your heart sing.
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Writer's Block: If Animals Could Talk [Mar. 13th, 2009|12:59 am]
[Tags|, ]

If you could ask your pet any question (and they could answer you), what would it be?
" Why the hell do you lick your ass so much?"
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